Fear, Trust, My Wall & I

It’s 5 AM and I’m sitting alone in my room, looking out at the quiet city. The streetlights below are covered in a light mist, and a few lights are visible in the buildings across from me. Intermittently, a couple of dogs bark, maybe breaking the silence.

As I stare at the wall, my mind is full of the events of the past few days. An uneasiness has settled over some of us, and I whisper to myself, “Why is there a lack of trust?” “Is there fear? Of what?” “Why do we blame people? How can we not?”

As if in response to my thoughts, I hear a soft whisper from the wall.

“Fear can be a powerful enemy of trust, my friend,”

..the wall whispers. “It can lead to a culture of judgment and mistrust and cause us to hold back our thoughts and ideas, causing rifts even among the closest of us. Until we can recognise and confront these fears, we will struggle to build true trust with others.”

“Consider the story of Arjuna ,” the wall continues. “Despite being a skilled warrior, he was paralysed by fear on the battlefield. It wasn’t until he turned to Krishna for guidance and gained a deeper understanding of himself and his purpose that he was able to overcome his fear and emerge victorious.”

This story resonates with me.

“Jiddu Krishnamurthy also spoke of the importance of facing our fears,” the wall adds. “He believed that it is only by facing our fears head-on that we can gain freedom from their hold over us.”

I reflect on these words, recognising their power. By embracing our fears instead of running from them, we can overcome them and open the door to greater trust and understanding.

But I wonder, “Why do we fear judgment in the first place? Is it not natural to want to be accepted by our peers?”

“Judgment also plays a role in the breakdown of trust,” the wall whispers.

“When we judge others, we close ourselves off to the possibility of deeper understanding and connection.”

I nod, knowing the destructive impact of judgment on relationships and teamwork. The story of King Janak comes to mind. One day, a thief brought before the king for punishment. But instead of punishing the thief, King Janaka chose to inquire about his reasons for stealing and, upon learning of the thief’s plight and desperation to feed his family, gave him a job in his kingdom so he could earn a living and provide for his family.

The story demonstrates the importance of looking beyond a person’s actions and instead, delving into their motivations and the circumstances that led them to take certain actions. By doing this, we can avoid judging others harshly and instead be more understanding and compassionate.

I can almost feel the wall nodding sagaciously. I continue to ask, “So, how do we overcome this fear and build trust?”

The wall whispers, “Remember the famous scene in the movie ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ where Andy Dufresne says,

‘Get busy living, or get busy dying’?

Similarly, by letting go of our past and breaking free from our limiting beliefs and experiences, we can foster a secure environment for transparent communication and cultivate trust.”

“Easy to say”, I think aloud, “But how do we create such a safe space?”

The wall continues to whisper magically, “It starts with bravery and facing our fears head-on. It means speaking up, even when it feels uncomfortable or scary, and it means actively listening and valuing the perspectives and opinions of others, without judgment. When we feel heard and respected, we are more likely to be open and honest, and a culture of trust can begin to take root.”

“And what role does communication play in building trust?” I ask.

“Open communication is key,” the wall replies. “When we feel safe enough to express our opinions and ideas, they are more likely to do so. And when they feel valued and respected, they are more likely to be open and honest. Encouraging open and transparent communication can help to reduce fear, build trust, and foster greater collaboration and teamwork.”

“It’s a rat race,” I lament. “What if we fall short? Isn’t there a fear of failure lurking in the shadows? How can we overcome it?”

“Ah!” the wall replied, “I wondered when you’d ask me that. The fear of failure is a common fear, but it’s also one that can be overcome with practice. Instead of fearing failure, view it as a stepping stone on the path to success. We can build resilience and cultivate a growth mindset. And when we work together, we can support each other and learn from our failures, leading to greater success in the long run. We should have each other’s backs, reminding us of our greatness – all the time.”

Even the all powerful Hanuman had to be reminded, by his team, of his ability to leap across the ocean.

“So, how do we put all of these ideas into practice?” I ask.

“Start small. Start today. Open, honest communication is key,” the wall explains. “When we feel safe enough to share our thoughts and feelings, without fear of judgment, we are more likely to build strong, lasting bonds of trust.”

As the first light of dawn begins to break through the darkness, I take a deep breath and feel a weight lifted from my chest as the wisdom of the wall sinks in.